It's been a while since I bloged. Today was measurement day with Mark.  It kinda went how I KNEW it would - disappointing.

Started out with the scale barely making any movement, to watching measurement after measurement show up the same or slightly lower.  This would be fine if it had onlyl been a short time since we last measured but it's been over 2 months!

I think one of the hardest things I've had to do is fight the feelings of being discouraged.  The thought that all the sacrifices and hard work I put in isn't paying off really wears on me a lot of the time.  Then trying to fight off the thoughts of "well, if the hard work isn't working, then why work so damn hard!?"

Mark looked over my food log after the BF% said there was no change, and in 2 months my measurements and weight only showed a very slight difference.  He said with a chuckle that I "obviously" was not telling him everything I was eating and I wasn't doing my cardio like I'm supposed to be doing.  My face flushed with anger and sadness.  I told him I was offended that he was basically calling me a liar, and I'm tired of everyone just assuming that I'm not following what I'm supposed to - that I'm not telling the whole truth.

He realized how upset I was at this point and the joking stopped.  He noted a few things I could have been doing differently and a little bit of an "off" week.  But that isn't my usual.  I mean come ON!  We are talking a period of over 2 months with very little change and I am not THAT damn inconsistant!

It's just really frustrating when you do the right things and work your butt off and get mediocre progress. And then fighting the feeling of being discouraged becomes as hard as the workouts.  Not to mention any other negative thoughts. 

When I expressed this to him I couldn't help but tear up.  That's when he pulled me off into the private room.  We spent the next hour and a half going through my log with a fine toothed comb. 

He asked me if I was ready, really ready for a tough change.  He said it appears that my body is extremely happy where it is.  I'm in shape and healthy, so my body is A-Okay.  We need to get it movin' again, and it's going to take being very tricky with it.

He made sure to tell me over and over, as if to not leave any doubts that this was going to be very hard.  I totally understand, but if I could just see a glimpse of some awesome progress it wouldn't be as tough as you would think (to me).  I'm tired of the feeling of banging my head against the wall.

The plan is 8 weeks of strictness, as if I were preparing to compete, with 100% consistancy and commitment.  The difference will be that I take one "cheat meal" every 2 weeks so that when it is actual time for competition I won't be completely burned out.  Everything has to be "spot on".  Those of us that have hung out with RC have heard this one a few times, and have seen the level of consistancy and commitment "spot on" actually requires.

Mark said after the 8 weeks we will "coast" to a real competition.  Then we will rinse and repeat minus the cheat meal.

Mark is good for me.  He told me if I feel like I'm going to cave, call him and he'll help support me through this.  I told him I might be calling him several times a day and he said, "that's fine, whatever it takes."  Does he sound like anyone we know? 

We talked a lot about planning and things I will have to do.  He left no room for confusion and little room for any questions.  He was pretty thorough in his instructions.  He also reminded me that he owned me. ;)  Well worth my $$.

We'll call this day 1 of  56.  Bring it on!