Tara started with eDiets at 239.5lbs.  Today she's weighing in at 179, with an incredible loss of 60 pounds, so far!  Read on as Tara describes all she's gained along with this loss, while on her journey...she's come a long way, baby!

Be sure to check out her pictures in her profile and here in our gallery, and be sure to keep up with Tara regularly here, and on her profile page!  - Cathy, eDiets 

A recent strength training workout had me opening my eyes a little more.  As I progressed to my 4th set of BB front squats with a new high record weight, the unthinkable happened.  For the first time in quite a while I found myself muttering these words, "I can't."  I tried to stop those words halfway through saying them, but they just kept coming, almost in slow motion.  The feeling of just saying them was unreal, overwhelming.  In a way I felt I had defeated myself.  And that is why I'm writing this.  To remind myself where I was, where I am, and where I'm headed.  I am definitely no failure and I'm definitely not going back.

Most of you know me from the excercise and fitness board.  I hang out frequently on the Daily Routines thread.  I first joined there because I had caught wind of some other members that were running in a local race here in my hometown.  I, at the time, was looking for inspiration to keep me going on my journey to lose a lot of fat.  And what I found was all that and more!

I remember reading some of the posts before I myself posted.  I was so intimidated I decided to look around the board more.  I then came across RC's goal thread.  I thought I'd start there, it looked safe and something where a real professional could keep me accountable.  There one of the members dragged me over to the Daily Routine thread.  I KNOW I wouldn't have had the guts to do it myself.  I mean for real... these women were much more fit, and athletic than me.  They were real athletes.  I was just a fat girl who thought I was athletic.  I was welcomed with open arms and I felt it was genuine.  But I was still uncomfortable around these athletes. 

I watched all my new friends day after day pushing the limits with themselves and doing things I couldn't, or hadn't yet done.  Things I hadn't even imagined myself every doing.  Not only were these women pulling off things that I thought were just the most incredible things I'd ever seen in my life, but they were of all ages and sizes, showing no limits.  The inspiration to go beyond what I ever imagined myself doing was sparked, and my whole belief system started to make a shift.

My frist goal was to run a 5k after many, many years off.  (I used to run track - in highschool, and I ran a few 5ks right after)  I was excited though because I got to meet real people that supported me through my training, some great women who have become life long friends.  Priceless. 

I ended up running that 5k in 46.20 min.  I remember being SO pleased it didn't take me 50+ minutes!  Everyone cheered me on; it was great!  Oh, they all ran the 1/2 marathon!  :)

If I really put the next year into words it would take up too much space.  So many changes have unfolded since then.  More than I expected from just wanting to lose some weight.  I can't even put into words the feelings.

I trained for several more 5ks, because I enjoy that distance.  And a year later, in the same race I first ran, I crossed the finish line in 35:57.  Then finally my last 2 5k's were 31 min. and 31 min. and 10 sec.  That's only a year later. ;)  I'll take it!  My next goal is to run them right at or under 30.  SO doable!

So in the meantime, I had been learning how to spice up my strength training routines with RC's help.  What I came to realize is that I absolutely LOVE weight training.  And it was no doubt I would, considering my whole life I've always enjoyed physical activities, even ones that included hauling heavy objects.  I grew up with admiration for my strength and abilities and I just re-awakened them.  RC helped me see this again in myself. 

After some encouragement from RC I hired a trainer, lost a trainer, gained another one, and am now moving even deeper in my desire to make this a part of my life.

Since then, most of my time has been spent in developing my knowledge and experience in this sport, weight lifting.  I'm soaking it up and loving every minute of it.

RC has also challenged me to compete in a figure competition.  Well, he suggested I do it, and I challenged myself to go for it!  At first I was very reluctant, partly because I didn't know enough about the sport.  But I've been studying up and I am in a place I feel that I NEED to do it.  I feel like I've worked so hard for the last 3+ years I deserve to show off what I have (will have) been able to do with myself.  I think this goal will speak volumes to others that setting limits for yourself is no way to live.  Telling yourself you can't do something will get you just that, nowhere. 

I'm also finding myself, along this journey, beginning to become someone that I've held hostage inside.  Like this real life person is screaming to come out, and I've just been pushing her down, suffocating her.  It's time for her to show herself.

This has been the most challenging part of this whole journey.  It's a very scary thing to pull this woman out of hiding.  It means that I have to constantly put myself in uncomfortable positions in order to learn and grow.  It effects, not only me, but the one's near me that have grown accustomed to the way things are.  And seriously?  Who LIKES change?  It's been so painfully tough, that I ask myself quite frequently, "is this all worth it?"  And the answer is, "YES!  I'M WORTH IT!"  For once in my life, I'M WORTH IT!  That should never be a question I or anyone else ever ask themselves. 

My whole life I've lived comfortably, avoiding anything that didn't fit in that comfort zone.  Let's face it, that's how I got FAT in the first place.  I didn't want to be uncomfortable.  I was avoiding the discomfort of actually moving, or the real discomfort, self-discipline.  And putting myself first was WAY too uncomfortable.  There were WAY too many feelings I'd rather not face attatched to taking care of me before others.  Those two go hand-in-hand though, exericse and putting yourself first.  If they didn't, it would be near impossible to get the exercise done with all that is required of you in one day, all the people and things that need your attention.  You can put your needs off forever in this way.

So I'm in this place now.  Putting myself first, putting myself in environments that provoke more change and growth.  I'm a butterfly that's seeing the world for the first time as she makes her way out of the cocoon.  It's painful, but... it's ohhhh so beautiful.

The more I train the more I've learned how the state of your mind can be the root of all evil, that make-or-break you element.  We see it all the time.  We tell ourselves things that just aren't true and put our beliefs in thoughts and ideas that limit our growth daily. When I train my body, I train my mind, and that is why I love it so.

I hope this can be some motivation for others experiencing this journey.  No one ever said it would be easy.  It's more than just losing a few lbs.  It's about regaining your self!